SB XLIV Column

Simmons rejoices in the Colts' collapse (and, secondarily, rejoices in the Saints victory) in the latest Sports Guy column. 

One quick observation:  What's all this whining by Colts fans?  One guy said he would curse the name of the team owner for sitting the players for the final two regular season games.  Others were chastising Manning for an epic choke-job which in their revisionist history minds fits in with a pattern of incompetence during big games.  

Here's the facts:  

-your team had a great season.

-they had a decent chance to win the Super Bowl--the Saints played great, nearly error-free football, and the Colts likewise played decently I felt. It wasn't like games in recent past where you had the sneaking suspicion that these weren't the two best teams that had made it in due to all the mental mistakes.  

-Peyton Manning stats were pretty good, and apart from "the INT" I think he played a pretty good game.

-the final pass Peyton Manning made to Reggie Wayne on the replay looked very catchable, would have been a TD, and would at the very least provided the possibility for epic drama in the final minute of Super Bowl XLIV. Why aren't more people talking about this? 

-going into next season, the Colts still have to be considered one of the top teams in the league.

-the Colts organization has managed to field a consistently good team over the past several years, appears very competent with the draft in terms of building for the future, and 90% of league fans would kill to have their organization run as competently as the Colts.  

So what's the point of complaining?  I think once your team wins the Super Bowl in recent years (like the Colts did in '07) and you are the favorites (much like the 'Pats during their 19-0 season), the fans unrightfully expect nothing less than a Super Bowl, and get pissed off with their team when it doesn't happen. I agree with the SG in terms of implementing a 10-year ban (can't remember the exact duration, but you get the point) on complaining about your team after it wins a championship.

Recent Podcasts: It's For Charity

A few funny moments of note on recent B.S. Report podcasts:

1.  The revelation that Simmons and his friend Joe House are engaging in an epic hypermiling road trip from D.C. to Miami for charity.  I know I've heard all the stories about House's eating prowess, but I'd have to take the under on the # of Chic-Fil-A sandwiches (quotes as 6 1/2 on the show I believe) eating during the alleged 16-hour road trip. I'm sure he COULD eat that many sandwiches in that time period (hell, I'm sure I could---they're delicious), it's just that 16 hours isn't THAT long of a time, and it would be boring to just stop and eat only at Chic-Fil-A.  

2.  One of my favorite guests on the B.S. Report is definitely Adam Corolla, and his fake movie pitches should be a regular feature. This week's movie pitches were pretty good (e.g., "Pinkie Cheeks" starring Rob Schieder was probably the best idea of the bunch), though still can't approach the brilliance of the Shia LeBoeuf vehicle "Pedof Isle." More Corolla movie pitches in the future. 

3.  On his recent Kobe-themed podcast with J.A. Adande, Bill made the impassioned case that he would want the new-and-improved version of Dirk Nowitzki taking the final shot in a close game rather than Kobe Bryant.  A few days later Kobe hit a sweet jumper in the face of Ray Allen & the Celtics for the victory.  Shouldn't have tempted the basketball gods like that, Simmons.

Buddy Geoff & the Vikes

The 1/27/10 podcast features NFL analysis by Mike Lombardi (a B.S. Report regular) and Simmons' "buddy Geoff", who apparently was the Best Man at the wedding of Sports Guy & Gal.  

Simmons has been vocal about his distrust of Brett Favre in big-game situations, and despite Favre's spectacular regular season numbers, he was ultimately right.  Kudos to Simmons for not doing the "I told you so" routine too much in the presence of Vikings die-hard Geoff.  

Here's the thing, though:  the Vikes were 100% right to lure Favre out of retirement, and they would remain 100% correct to entice him to stay for one more season.  Anybody who is mentioned in regular season MVP-talk shouldn't feel obligated to retire, it's clear that Favre loves to play the game, there's definitely an added level of excitement when a future HOFer is your QB, and, perhaps most importantly, the Vikes' back-up QB spots are hardly confidence-inspiring.

  

I grew up in Duluth, Minnesota, and have followed the MN Vikings for many years.  Within minutes of the tragic game ending, the Facebook comments left by my high school friends all had one common theme:  "I'm not surprised."  And this could refer both to Favre's penchant for throwing late-game interceptions as well as the Vikings' history of playoff chokes,  it really doesn't matter.

Jersey Shore-Themed Podcast

New B.S. Report again featuring a breakdown of the "Jersey Shore" franchise courtesy of Bill Simmons & "Reality Czar" Dave Jacoby.  

# of times I have seen an actual episode of MTV's "Jersey Shore":  0.

# of times I have listened to an entire B.S. Report podcast devoted to a meticulous dissection of "Jersey Shore" plot and cast members:  I don't know exactly but it's got to be around at least 4 episodes now.  

I suppose it's a testament to my Simmons fandom that I actually find entertaining 2 people conversing about a show that I've never actually seen.  

A similar situation occurred with me listening to a recent (11/17/09) B.S. Report podcast in which he interviews "Super Dave" Osborne about his recurring role on HBO's "Curb Your Enthusiasm."  I don't get HBO and therefore I haven't seen any of the new episodes.  However during the interview they talk extensively about a scene in the season finale of the show during which Dave's character Marty Funkhouser ad-libs a dirty joke to Jerry Seinfeld.  In this particular episode of the B.S. Report, Dave Osborne and Bill Simmons discuss "The Dirty Joke" for about 15 minutes, without actually saying what the joke is!  It was like the "snow creature" scene in the original "Empire Strikes Back"--you don't actually see the snow creature so your mind is forced to envision what it looks like.  Anyways, I finally did track down "The Dirty Joke" on You Tube and figured out what they were talking about, and due to the adult content of the joke there's no way he would have been able to describe the joke adequately. But I have to admit that since I don't watch a lot of TV, a decent chunk of my pop culture exposure comes from the B.S. Report.

Commentary on Simmons' NBA Pantheon

I recently finished reading Simmons' totally awesome The Book of Basketball--700+ glorious pages dedicated to my personal fav

orite of all the professional sports leagues, the National Basketball Association.  The book is written in typical Simmons-style, mixing in personal anecdotes and pop culture references with sports analysis. However, it's a departure from Simmons' usual take as being written solely from the perspective of a fan in that it's clear that he did a fair amount of research on the topic. I'm sure there are some who have criticized the length of the book, but for true NBA fans, I easily could have read several hundred-more pages. 

The centerpiece of the book is Simmons' idea for a revamping of the NBA Hall of Fame:  he suggests that players be voted into a "pyramid system" in which 5 different levels of greatness are recognized.  The highest honor is bestowed upon the top 12 players of all-time:  "the Pantheon."  Here is the complete list, followed by a few comments at the bottom:

LEVEL 5: The Pantheon

1. 1.  Michael Jordan
2. 2.  Bill Russell
3. 3.  Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
4. 4.  Magic Johnson
5. 5.  Larry Bird
6. 6.  Wilt Chamberlain
7. 7.  Tim Duncan
8. 8.  Jerry West
9. 9.  Oscar Robertson
10. 10.  Hakeem Olajuwon
11. 11.  Shaquille O’Neal
12. 12.  Moses Malone

LEVEL 4

13. 13.  John Havlicek
14. 14.  Elgin Baylor
15. 15.  Kobe Bryant
16. 16.  Julius Erving
17. 17.  Bob Pettit
18. 18.  Karl Malone
19. 19.  Charles Barkley
20. 20.  LeBron James
21. 21.  Bob Cousy
22. 22.  Kevin Garnett
23. 23.  Isiah Thomas
24. 24.  Scottie Pippen

LEVEL 3

25. 25.  John Stockton
26. 26.  Rick Barry
27. 27.  Bill Walton
28. 28.  David Robinson
29. 29.  Allen Iverson
30. 30.  Willis Reed
31. 31.  Dave Cowens
32. 32.  Walt Frazier
33. 33.  Sam Jones
34. 34.  George Gervin
35. 35.  Kevin McHale
36. 36.  George Mikan

LEVEL 2

37. 37.  Dirk Nowitzki
38. 38.  Steve Nash
39. 39.  Patrick Ewing
40. 40.  Gary Payton
41. 41.  Wes Unseld
42. 42.  Jason Kidd
43. 43.  Clyde Drexler
44. 44.  Nate Thurmond
45. 45.  Dave Debusschere
46. 46.  Hal Greer
47. 47.  Billy Cunningham
48. 48.  James Worthy
49. 49.  Elvin Hayes
50. 50.  Dolph Schayes
51. 51.  Bill Sharman
52. 52.  Dennis Johnson
53. 53.  Dwyane Wade
54. 54.  Paul Pierce
55. 55.  Dominique Wilkens
56. 56.  Paul Arizin
57. 57.  Tommy Heinsohn
58. 58.  Bernard King
59. 59.  Robert Parish
60. 60.  Nate Archibald
61. 61.  Bob McAdoo

LEVEL 1

62. 62.  Reggie Miller
63. 63.  Ray Allen
64. 64.  Jerry Lucas
65. 65.  Alex English
66. 66.  Adrian Dantley
67. 67.  Earl Monroe
68. 68.  Pete Maravich
69. 69.  Dennis Rodman
70. 70.  David Thompson
71. 71.  Lenny Wilkens
72. 72.  Chris Webber
73. 73.  Sidney Moncrief
74. 74.  Joe Dumars
75. 75.  Tracy McGrady
76. 76.  Artis Gilmore
77. 77.  Dan Issel
78. 78.  Paul Westphal
79. 79.  Bobby Dandridge
80. 80.  Bailey Howell
81. 81.  Dave Bing
82. 82.  Chris Mullin
83. 83.  Vince Carter
84. 84.  Cliff Hagan
85. 85.  Robert Horry
86. 86.  Arvydas Sabonis
87. 87.  Connie Hawkins
88. 88.  Gail Goodrich
89. 89.  Shawn Kemp
90. 90.  Chris Paul
91. 91.  Dwight Howard
92. 92.  Bob Lanier
93. 93.  Kevin Johnson
94. 94.  Jack Twyman
95. 95.  Jo Jo White
96. 96.  Tom Chambers

My own comments:  

-It's hard to argue the Top 12, though I probably would made the cutoff at Shaq and bumped Moses into Level 2--it just doesn't seem like Moses (great as he was) deserves to be mentioned in the same breath as the rest of these guys.  

-I think you have to at least consider the possibility of putting Kobe in the Top 12 now--though it's hard to fault the Sports Guy for this since the book was written before Kobe's vindicating 2008-09 NBA Championship.  

-Magic ahead of Bird?  I personally don't think so.  At his peak, Bird was more awe-inspiring than even Magic...and Simmons even admits that his ranking of Magic over Bird was influenced by Magic's improved longevity compared to Bird's, even though he states earlier on in the book that he values quality over quantity with players such as Bill Walton. My instinct is that Simmons ranked Magic ahead of Bird so that he can't be accused of too much homerism, and perhaps the decision gives greater credence to his high overall ranking of players such as DJ, Bill Russell, John Havlicek, etc.  

-It's tough to know how to rank the current players on the list, so it's hard to criticize Simmons for this.  But do we really think that Chris Paul's career (ranked #90) will be worse than Shawn Kemp's (ranked #89) or Vince Carter's (ranked #83)?    

-The rankings of Allen Iverson (artificially high at #29) and Reggie Miller (probably about right at #62) deserve commentary.  Simmons makes the case that the Reggie is overrated by most NBA fans based on his legendary performances against the big-market NY Knicks, and judging him by more objective standards (e.g., # of All-NBA teams made, statistics, etc.) is necessary to put him into the proper context.  However, you can make the case that he completely fails to evaluate in an objective manner Iverson, whose high ranking in Simmons' list is largely due to AI's strong resonance with fans rather than his actual accomplishments. I guess the point I am making is that the ranking process is not 100% consistent here.   

-one of my favorite comments in the entire book was Simmons' description of Artis Gilmore (#76 on the list) as some "half-black, half-Chinese count" (or something like that)--it made me giggle out loud on an airplane.  I remember watching an older Artis Gilmore play at the onset of my NBA infatuation, and the description is an apt one.  

Welcome

4 Reasons why I'm starting a Bill Simmons-themed blog:

1. I'm a big fan of Bill Simmons. I started reading "The Sports Guy" column while I was in graduate school, probably around 2000 or so. Since that time I've probably consumed 95% of his columns, blog musings, books, and podcasts.

2. It's hard to get into the mailbag. I've tried on several occasions (under the moniker "Dr. Nate") to be included in the Sports Guy's "Mailbag" column, but never succeeded. Let's face it, the guy's popular, and I can't guess how many emails he receives. I want to comment on the latest revelations in Sports Guy's World, but there's no good place for it.

3. To allow other BS Report readers to discuss the genius of Bill Simmons with one another. Do you want a place to comment on what type of Subway sandwich Simmons should choose in his upcoming beating of Cousin Sal as part of their year-long football bet? Here it is.

4. I'm addicted to the Internet. I already have several other personal and professional blogs & I spend an inordinate amount of time web surfing. I figure I might as well be constructive about the time I spend playing on the computer.

So: welcome to the B.S. Commentary, and we'll see how this turns out...